Yesterday wasn't too bad. Went over to Marine Park and did like a half sketch. There was this other artist there when I got there. He totally made me feel motivated. I asked him if I could just sit and watch. He didn't mind. He was pretty good.

I'm doing pretty good with my "shop more ... flirt less" routine. Guys are fading now. I'm just sick of the whole sex thing. Which is weird seeing that I'm still a virgin.

*halo gives off blinding light*

Right now I just wanna have friends and more money to shop.

There've been a lot of new developments in the work area. Bryan's getting tired. I can feel it. Kat is still chatting shit when she's in the mood. The fundraiser happened but it was a flop. Its like I can't reach anybody anymore. I always end up siding with Bryan and being called a traitor.

*sigh*

Anyway, I dont like talking about work too much. Makes me a little depressed. Bryan did send everyone an email on Friday. It was really good. I almost cried. Anyway .... enough of that.

Sometimes I wish that I had like this totally kewl life and my sad journal was worth reading. Its like I'm immuned to anything exciting. Its sad when the only exciting thing that happens to you is flirting with guys on the subway.

Come to think of it though, Friday wasn't a bad day. Well it started out crumby. Dexter complained about some stuff I printed at the office. That kinda pissed me off. People like that are SUCH cowards ... they never tell you anything to your face.

*asshole*

I just wanna finish my projects and get the hell away from that place. Anyway back to ME!!! I had a funpass cuz my other metrocard was dead. I kept thinking ...

"Why just go home when I could go into Manhattan and at least TRY to cheer up"

So I left work early and went in. I swear, compared to Manhattan ... Brooklyn comes 2nd in the 'cute guys' department. At least in New York. I mean you could get whiplash just trying to check people out. And not to kill tradition ... I had one of those brief flirtatious encounters at this old music store in the Village.

They had like used CDs n stuff. I figured they MUST have Suzanne Vega.

So I'm checking through CDs.

Totally not looking while I'm moving.

Walk on this guys foot.

Looks up and sees the kewlest blue eyes in the world.

"Oh I'm sorry"

"No... I'm Sorry" he actually says.

*sigh*

You know sometimes when a minute seems like an hour?

It was like that.

I smile at him.

He smiles back.

Then I walk off with a Tchaikovsky CD (they only had Suzanne on tape).

If that happened like a month ago, I would've said more. Flirted more.

Not now though.

Plus I was still a little sad and wanted my shopping fix to kick in. I bought some pastels and a new pad before the CD. It was great just walking around the Village though. Even seeing couples making out didn't ruin it for me. Hey dont get me wrong. I'm all for public affection. It just makes me miss being kissed more though. I really miss that.

Anyway, soon after the music store I headed back to the subway. I was starting to get a migraine anyway. I think it was all the sun. It was great out on Friday. I ended up staying on the bus to the mall. Got yet another Old Navy ringer tee. I'm wearing it right now actually.

I've been online almost all day. There's nothing else to do anyway. Just looking for MP3s and fooling around in chat.

Hmmm pretty much what I did all weekend.

Met this kewl guy in chat. He lives in the city too. Straight guy. We have a lot in common though. Same taste in music and too much free time hehehe. I dont know if he knows I'm gay though and I dont want him to freak out or anything. Guys always have this thing that all gay guys just wanna latch on to any cock within a 2 mile range. That's so not me. A one mile range is more like it. Just kidding. I'm like that quote from a Walt Whitman poem.

"Copulation is no more rank to me than death is."

I mean .... when I used to slut around in HS I used to feel like hell after I fooled around with a guy. Especially if I barely even liked him. So glad I'm not like that anymore. I dunno how some people manage in chat always wanting to cyber or just talk about sex. I mean c'mon its great n all (so I've heard) but there ARE other things yanno.