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2000-06-01 - 12:22:57 am
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End of another sad day
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•Thursday•
I feel that warm sad feeling coming over me again. Just like I felt today while walking to the park. Like I would faint right in traffic. It still feels like everything's in slow motion. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I can't cry here though but I feel too weak to walk away. I remember a few years back I used to slap myself hard across the face if a tear made it down. I mean I can be very emotional. I'm the person who cries at 'The Color Purple' and 'Titanic' every time I watch them. I'm the moron who cries at while listening to 'Mariah's Theme' or watching the video. I just feel helpless right now. Like I'm about to burst with tears rushing out every part of my body. I just don't know what to do anymore. Life used to be so easy when I was a kid. I still got depressed and stuff but there was still a lot I didn't have to worry about you know.Its sad but i dunno if I've ever been happy for long. When I was younger I used to be sick all the time. I mean really sick. Couldn't go outside or anything. Never really had many friends. That part I'm used to by now. I do better on my own anyway. It just gets really lonely sometimes. Its sad when all your days run into one like mine do. All tomorrows are like yesterdays.
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