I needed a break. I'm at the park right now. Just hanging out on a blanket listening to music and watching the sky. The sky was a perfect mixture of blue and clouds until a while ago. Now the clouds look like milk gone bad. Helicopters and airplanes blending in perfectly with the insects flying over my head. There are more than a couple helicopters circling around. I heard the whole country's on high alert right now. I seriously doubt terrorists would try to pull something on the exact date a full year later. I hope I'm right. I haven't checked CNN or any other news sources about it. It just doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, neither is flying a plane into a building.

The reason September 11, 2001 happened is because no one knew about it. It was a perfect day much like today. And everything was normal until around 8:30. I had been out the weekend before. My plans for that day didn't include watching the new pretty much nonstop and going outside every now and then to see if it wasn't just good TV editing and special effects. My plans sure as hell didn't include frantically trying to find all my friends and help other people I know find theirs. Crying and shock were nowhere near in my datebook.

The sky's mended itself. It's all pillowy again. Still choppers around. I couldn't sleep last night. I've never really had trouble sleeping before. Not like that. I was still wide awake minutes after 5am. My alarm was set for 8:30 since I was expecting to be in White Plains today. I woke up, called Richie and was told that I'd be needed Thursday instead. Mark came home around 9 and I turned the sound on my laptop off just to avoid talking to him about the rent. Still not paid. Today's the 10th! I'm so tired of this. And I don't think he understands that I have no control over it. I don't think he understands that I don't get a salary. That I don't even have a savings or checking account here. That usually the most money I have on weekends is 80 bucks and half of that goes to groceries.