When you breakup or whatever with someone don't be evil and months later when you message them on AOL remind them of how happy you are with your new partner. That should rank high on the list of 'Breakup Rules & Plain Ol' Proper Etiquette'.

Aaron messaged me today. Not long after I woke up and logged on to check my email. He's been removed from my buddy list. Well ... he was several times and I added him back several times. I was glad he messaged me since I hadn't heard from him in ages. And a part of me still misses him and hopes we could've been better friends. I didn't make a big deal out of it when he messaged me though and made a point not to seem to eager or even all that happy to talk to him. Things were fine until the "How are you doing?" pretty much turned into "I'll be celebrating my eight-month anniversary soon with my wonderful, fantastic, perfect lover who's cuter than you, thinner, works out, dresses better, makes more money, gives better head, cooks, cleans, slices, dices, stirs and fries." My face changed and felt like that jab. You know the one. The 'I've got a better life and you're still stuck on START'-type jab. Jerk.

I still can't bring myself to actually hate him. But there should be a rule that unless you're both insanely happy, you're not allowed to show any signs of bliss. Conversations should begin with, "Are you insanely happy?" If the person says no, you sigh and say "Neither am I." Lie. This term is of course void if you truly want the person to be happy with or without you. Which is what I want for Aaron, actually. He just ...bah! He just always seems to get me when I'm not strong enough. And maybe he really does like going into some detail about how great this guy is. I just don't need to hear it when I'm alone and wondering if this is it for me.