Well, I opened my journal around 8pm with the intention of writing but didn't. I even had the date and time ready. I'm on a train right now, still at Grand Central. I'm going to Gary's.

Cable was still on when I woke up around noon today. I watched TV until it went out. I pictured someone in a control room, a red light flashing, warning them that someone was watching unauthorized cable. The only person in this dimly lit control room slams his hand on a big button that reads 'No Cable for You!' He then wipes his brow, leans back in his swivel chair and breathes a sigh of relief.

Actually, a cable guy came to the apartment tonight not long after I got back from the City. Attractive guy, tall with a beard and very worn jeans. I felt myself turn into a giggly teen close to playing with my hair as he stood just outside the front door. He was there to take our cable boxes away. We would have to pay a reconnection fee of like 50 bucks and a month and a half cable deposit. The 50 bucks I had no problem with but a month and a half deposit? Damn.

Laura and I explained that we spoke with Cablevision earlier today and was told that if the bill wasn't paid by June 1st, they'd take the boxes away. This guy, as nice to look at as he was, was weeks early. Laura got Cablevision on the phone and they spoke with him. I ended up talking with him a bit. I got to look at his clipboard and saw who else in the building was getting the big snip. I asked him if he's ever made anyone cry. He told me about this incident where the kids begged him, "please don't take our cable, mister cableman." I didn't have to beg. Our cable boxes are safe ...for now.

I feel there's bad energy in the apartment now though ever since Laura's moved in. I now somewhat dread going home when I'm out. It never used to be that way. Things have changed. I think they changed the minute she moved in, actually. I hate it. I miss Mark a lot. I almost didn't want to let go when we hugged last Friday.