Last night, Aaron said I'm not being nice anymore. I told him I was sorry. That I'm tired. I meant that in more ways than one though. I didn't say that. I just told him 'Good night' and let the NyQuil do its work.

I spent pretty much all day in the city. I got to Keri's office a little after 1 and didn't leave until close to 7. It was pretty cool and I'm going back tomorrow. It's a nice environment to work in. I actually have a desk *gasp*. Doing 'Komputer Kama Sutra' isn't always fun.

Basically ... her art department is made up of morons. She has to spoon-feed them and then she still doesn't get what she wants. I'm not surprised. A lot of people who actually studied graphic design ... well ... suck. If it wasn't in the text book ... they may not know what to do. Or I find a lot of designers like that ... aren't ... creative. You have to tell them exactly what you want when you yourself may have no idea. Pretty much everyone I've done work for end saying the words, "Perfect! That's exactly what I wanted". And it's done with little or no art direction. Today was no exception. Keri uttered those very words.

"You get it. Why can't they (art department) get it?"

I dunno. I'm almost telepathic when it comes to work. So that was cool. Just being there and hanging out with Keri. Meeting some of her co-workers every now and then. They're using the logo I did so that's really cool. I can't wait to see it on TV and know that I did it. I created the whole thing from scratch. It'll also be a big addition to my portfolio, which I'm trying to start working on.

Keri and I left the office and talked about some other projects she has for me to work on. Problem is ... I'm still waiting on my visa extension thingy to get my work permit ... (and since the attacks ... immigration work is pretty much on hold) ... so I may not be able to get paid right away. Which of course ... totally sucks because I need the money.

While we walked along ... I looked up. There was a plane flying overhead and from where I was standing ... it looked as if it was flying between two skyscrapers. It scared me and when I looked around ... I noticed other people were looking up and were scared too. It's not going away anytime soon ... is it? No matter how much people yell, "Don't give in to the terror" ... it wont work. It's already in us. It seeped in right when the attack happened. Before anyone had the time to yell, "Don't give in to the terror." Because no one was prepared. You couldn't set your guard up. There wasn't time. Everyone's damaged now, whether the you admit it or not. Damaged and no one knows when they'll be mended. And now that the U.S has struck ... we may not have a chance to.

I called Aaron just before heading down to the subway. I was thinking of dropping by his place but I felt kinda crappy (Keri said I should go see a doc. Um ... yah .. considering I have absolutely no kind of insurance) ... and he said he was gonna take a nap anyway. So I came home. He said to call him when I'm in tomorrow and we'll have a late lunch.

I know that people have to make a living ... but ... I hate seeing people taking advantage of the whole September 11 tragedy. Selling postcards of the Trade Center towers wont bring 'em back. Buying them, (unless the money goes right to the Red Cross or a fund) ... wont bring 'em back either. They ... are ... gone. And walking in the subway, already feeling shitty ... and seeing people doing that just makes me feel worse. And the flags. And flag bandanas. And pins. And ... it's just ... it's too much. And does it really help in the healing? Because that's what I want. I want to go back to that illusion that we're all safe. Like the 'Matrix'. I don't want to take the red or whatever color pill Neo took to wake up. I want to stay asleep. Or sleep and forget. At least for a little while.