The drama. I swear, sometimes I think only certain things happen to people in movies and myself.

Around 5:00am Friday morning I was asleep, then I was not, then some... no, all hell broke loose. The buzzer went off. Laura went out much earlier the night before. I thought it was her. It had to be. She had forgotten her keys yet again and I had to let her in. Without asking who it was over the intercom, I pressed door, unlocked the apartment our front door and went back to bed. Less than ten minutes later there was this pounding. I was instantly pissed off. What the fuck is her problem?! The door's unlocked! I got out of bed (in boxers and a tshirt), stormed to the front door, swung it open and was greeted by a fantasy -four goodlooking police officers. Fantasy or nightmare.

Ok. This is it for me. I'm being deported. Fuck! I guess I don't have to worry about next month's rent though.

Something happened to Laura.

The building's on fire?! Fuck! Wait ...they're not firemen.

"Did you take a cab home tonight? You didn't pay. He's been waiting downstairs over an hour."

"No. I haven't left my apartment all night. It's probably my roommate. Hang on."

I walked into Laura's room, actually surprised to see her asleep in bed, since she was supposed to be the one at the door instead of the cops. I tried waking her but she wouldn't budge. I walked back to the cops, who were now standing in the passageway near the front door. They had no time to wait until Laura felt like getting up. Two of them went into her room while I tried to find out from the other two what the fare was. Thirty five dollars.

I heard her wake up. I heard the mumbling quickly followed by the word "No." I went to my room and got some pants on. This wasn't going to be some quick easy thing now. Voices were being raised. I also checked my wallet in vain since I knew I didn't have more than ten dollars in there.

Laura was up now. Laura was awake but not. Laura was yelling at the cops to "Get the fuck out of [her] house!" Laura only sleeps in her underwear sometimes and that night, Laura was only sleeping in her thong.

Time doubled, then in no time tripled and somewhere in there I was asking Laura repeatedly where her purse was so I can pay the bad men and make them go away. I don't think she had any idea who I was. I figured she saw the cops as evil, fanged creatures with red shiny eyes and horns coming out of their skulls. She treated them as such. Screaming, confronting and soon slapping. At one point, after repeated warnings to calm down, she got into one guy's face and pushed him. He pushed back and her pale, frail, drunken person fell back and buckled to the floor.

I was in shock. I thought it was the most realistic dream I'd ever have. I wanted to wake up now though and the music I usually fall asleep to and sounds from outside weren't filtering in slowly like they should and do during my waking process.

The cops tried to get her to calm down. They tried to explain what had happened with the cab. That she had gotten out, hadn't paid and he had been waiting downstairs at the front of the building for over a couple hours. They tried to explain that she needed to get dressed, go downstairs and give thirty five dollars. They asked me to try and explain to her as well. I tried. She was barely still or quiet for more than 15 seconds.

In the shadows and screams, I spotted a 100 dollar bill next to the TV on her table. I took it, told the cops I'd go and pay it, put some shoes on and walked downstairs. I didn't feel like waiting for the elevator and I also wanted time to slow down and go back to normal.

"If she didn't have the money, she could have told me," the cab driver commented as he gave me change.

As I went back in, one of the officers came out to speak with the driver. Part two of my very own C.O.Ps special started when I got back to the apartment. There was still screaming. Pretty much all of it from Laura. The cops, now three, continued to warn her to calm down and to stop hitting them. I would think that if I cop asked me to calm down, I'd listen. I'd listen and try to obey. It was getting really scary and I thought they'd have to get the batons out. Seriously.

"We have to arrest you."

That didn't shut her up.

"I am an American! You can't treat me like this!"

"Laura, get dressed," I pleaded.

Then the cops asked her again to get dressed. They found a black top and red pants for her. They were even nice enough to get her a pair of black socks she must've had lying around.