I feel odd. That's the only description I can come up with. Not particularly happy, not sad. I think I can feel my heartbeat moving the cloth of my tshirt in rhythm. I want to check, to look down and see if it's true but I don't seem to care enough to. I think I'm getting a headache and now the taste of the tic tacs I sucked on just a while ago seems to make it worse. My mouth is watering and I'm licking my lips a lot.

My eyes sting a little. I'm whining, I know. I should stop and at the same time I shouldn't. Journals are for just that, whining. Better here on my computer than on the ears of a bored listener, eh.

Random thoughts swirling. Lots of random thoughts. I think I'm going to have a crappy week. Maybe I'm jinxing myself by even typing that but it's how I feel and I should probably prepare myself anyway.

'Prepare.' That word always makes me think of Billy Elliott and I always find myself repeating it in my fake British accent. Maybe I'll watch the DVD again tonight. I wonder what tonight's HBO movie is. I'm in a mood to just make some popcorn and watch a lot of movies.

Maybe it's apathy, this feeling. It's hard to even tell. Maybe that's a sure sign it is in fact apathy. Fuck. I hate when I can't pinpoint what I feel.

I'm glad we finally had a writing group meeting in Jersey. I've missed coming to these meetings.

I think I needed more sleep. The headache, it feels like one of my 'I needed more sleep' headaches. I also haven't eaten much of anything today. One bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and one jelly bean (I forget which flavor) isn't exactly a meal. Nachos. Yeah. That's what I'm craving now. But only the ones Gary ordered the other night and didn't eat.