Guys have an internal sensor. They must! They know when you're over them or at least getting over them and they show up before they've faded forever from your memory. Or at least your primary thought. I don't know how they do it. They're just good like that. So I'm bored and in chat and Edward messages me. The guy I already vowed never to message again since I always feel like I'm bothering him. The guy I was pretty forgetting about. He was fading. Fast. I think about people who want to be around me, like Aaron. And guys like Edward and Jim ... they don't matter much anymore.

I'm not asking for a kidney. Or a semen sample. I don't want your first-born. Or your porn collection, car or DVD player. I don't want anything that you feel's important to you. Just that if you want to be friends and hang out, make some time or something. And don't ignore me. Edward is always 'busy'. You message him on AIM to say 'hi' and he doesn't reply until like a half hour later. Jim ... doesn't reply to emails. So screw that. If I wanted them for sex it would be different but that's not what I want. That's why I like Rudy. There's no bullshit. He likes hanging out. He returns phone calls. He's never too 'busy' even if he's doing something. Those are the kind of friends I want. So why do I still keep talking to guys like Jim and Edward?

'Cuz I'm a sucker for punishment. *grin*

4:09:48 pm