It's never black and white, is it? Is anything? Stupid things called feelings. Emotions. Stupid thing called doubt. Stupid blurs. Ross says we only feel this way because we're both alone. He may be right. Hell if I know. I know I care about him though.

Edi made a good point earlier about a scene from Magnolia. When William H. Macy's character pleads with this cute bartender he had a crush on for a while.

"... And I'll be good to you. I'll love you. And I'll be so good to you. I'll be good to you."

Why are people like Edi and I single? Especially Edi. He has so much to offer. So much. And he'd be so good to them. I just know that you wouldn't find anyone to love you more.

I didn't do much today. Shocker. I've been listening to MSN Radio a lot. The obession started last night. I'm trying to find this elusive song I've been chasing. And I mean elusive to the extreme. I don't know who sings it. Or the title of the song. So I'm pretty screwed. All I know are the lines:

..."I can see through you. I can't get to you."

I'm not sure about "I can see through you" but I know for sure about the latter part. I've heard the song a couple times on other radios I listen to online but they never say who sings it. But MSN Radio does. It tells you all the info about the track and has the option to buy the CD. So I've been listening like a maniac in hopes of hearing it and finding out the title at least. I've found some pretty good music so far though.

This girl signed my guestbook yesterday with a really sweet message. "... email if you ever want to rant, happy or sad". Something about that just made me smile. It's so incredibly sweet. I have to reply to that and some other emails when I have more time.

Oh! Last year, around April or so, I met this guy, Milos. Russian. 35 then. The very first guy I met in person from the 'Net. He drove out to Brooklyn from Jersey and we hung out/fooled around. He's very cute, very built. Normally I'm not one to melt over muscles, but the guy was so firm.

So something brought that up in a chat with Sam the other night and I though, "Hmm, I should email him to say hi. It's been a year and I live in Jersey. What if we live close to each other." I remembered his yahoo screenname and emailed him. He replied this morning. Part me was shocked he remembered exactly who I am. Of course, one of the first questions he asked was, "Where in NJ are you?"