I hate writing entries after midnight when I specifically want to talk about my day. I can't exactly say 'yesterday' and technically I can't say 'today'. But in any case, I felt yesterday and today I feel that the guy at the deli around the corner is lonely. I could be wrong. I went by when I got home for roast beef and something gave me the feeling he's lonely. And I found myself watching ...really watching ...him as he sliced the roast beef. I wanted to start up a conversation but couldn't think of anything. At the last minute, I told him I liked his sweater. He smiled -first time I've noticed his teeth- and said thanks.

So now I feel like I want to be his friend. Maybe invite him to go see a movie. But I don't want him to get the wrong idea and freak out. Or get the wrong idea and want in my pants. Ok, that last sentence came off as a little arrogant I feel. I don't know what to do though. I don't want to say something cheesy and possibly condescending like "You seem pretty lonely. Would you like to do something some time?" I thought about casually inviting him to Laura's party tomorrow/tonight (Saturday night) since Gary's invited but has to work.

I just think sometimes of how lonely a lot of people are. I'm one of them. I read Craigslist Missed Connections or just sit on the train and people watch for a while and it's clear. Sometimes if you stare hard enough these people turn grey while others around them stay in color. And most of us shouldn't be lonely. Most of us don't deserve to be lonely.

I can't get him out of my head, that guy. Maybe I read too much into him. Maybe he has a big family and he's very happy. Maybe he has many lovers and is very happy. Maybe he jumps on one of those little jitneys into the city when the deli's closed and parties till dawn. Maybe he would laugh at my idea of him being lonely.