I am never drinking again. I was sick all friggin day. Since very early this morning actually. I'm sick and I feel like total shit because I know I pissed a lot of people off.

I went back into the city like I said I was going to. I called Rudy when I got in and met him and two of his friends on the steps on Lincoln Center. Eric and Ro. They were going to Ro's friend, Topper's party. Yah, Topper is his real name. So we all walked over. I wasn't as nervous as I usually am meeting friends of a friend. Cuz you always think that they might hate you or something and just put up with you because you have a mutual friend. I like 'em. I really do.

Topper's party was .... sorta lame. A bunch of snotty girls watching TV and following Topper around. We hung around for a little while. Did a shot (first mistake) and told Topper we were going to this other party (the frat party I told Rudy about) and we'd come back. We didn't. The frat party sucked. Instead of frat guys ... we encountered ... possible former frat guys drooling over the dancer. Dancer. Singular. And they drooled over him Roman gladiator style since most of them were upstairs looking down at the dancer. We were all creeped out enough and left.

Went over this bar. Barrage. West 47th. Much better. Rudy and I had Long Island ice teas (second mistake). Ro had ... I have no idea what she had. I can't remember what Eric had either.

Now ... I've met people before who can drink but Ro ... she needs a medal. Really. We sat around and talked. I was pretty quiet cuz I was in that 'I'm getting buzzed' transition. As usual, I was invisible. Or rather ... guys just didn't want to talk to me. Ro and I started talking about how much being single sucks. That's about the time it started to rain. Rain like crazy.

Things are hazy. I know Eric left with his boyfriend, who was at Barrage when we got there. So now ... there were three. We left a while after and went over to 'Tenth Avenue Lounge'. By that time I was already in the giddy school-girl phase. Rudy was drunk. His eyes were half-closed. Ro was fine. She thought the bartender was hot. He was. We have similar taste in men. Rudy and I don't. More shots and laughing and chatting and raining. It was going up to 4. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I wasn't even sure buses were still running to Jersey.

So I called Aaron. I couldn't believe I was doing that. Calling him at 4 in the fuckin morning. Drunk, sheltering at a bus stop. Rudy was gone. So now ... there were two. Ro lives on the Upper Eastside so after getting Aaron's address, we jumped in a cab and got to her place. She lives like 10 blocks from Aaron's. But of course ... soon after getting there ... it started pouring again.

"Promise me," said Ro. "You wont fuck. You guys'll just cuddle."

"Trust me ... we're not fucking."

We giggled and hugged and said how cool the night was. And it was. I just shouldnt've done it knowing that I had to be up early today. The rain poured. I remember giggling to myself how fucked up I was. Looking up and counting how many blocks I had left to go. I got to Aaron's. I was soaked. I mean ... totally soaked.

I apologized like crazy for waking him up. I felt like crying. I got out of my clothes and put one of his tees on. I was freezing. I got in bed and shivered as he held me. Still apologizing every second. I faded instantly.

Sick ... sick ... hung over ... sicker when I got up. I was fucked! Completely fucked! That was pretty much the theme for the rest of the day. I pissed Norm off because I was supposed to be in White Plains. The phone lines are still messed up and I tried calling a million and a half times. By the time I got through ... it didn't matter.

Aaron got home around 6:45 and went back out to run some errands. I feel like I got run over by a truck and sorta wish I did.