•Wednesday•Stupid moronic boys making me doubt my invisible status. Stupid moronic boy in blue shirt who stared at me ... in me as I stood in the line for the bus to Jersey. Stupid moronic boy who after the brief but intense stare -stood right behind me. Close enough to feel his aura. Stupid moronic boy who was so close behind me that he slightly stepped on the back of my foot as I got on the bus. The same moronic boy in blue shirt with the shaved head who apologized. Stupid moronic boy who made me suddenly visible and exposed. But was I really visible? Was it all in my head? I got off the bus trying not to look back as I walked past him. Then the side of my backpack met the shoulder of the guy seated in front of the boy who made me visible. I turned to apologize but avoided any eye contact with my revealer.
Always when you accept your fate of disappearing that some moron sees the blur you've become and pulls you back to the world of solid. Stupid moronic boys who make you visible. But only enough to doubt yourself and return to your original plan to fade.
Westchester sucked today. It was a waste going up there. I knew it would've been a waste from the second Norm suggested it yesterday. I didn't do anything there I couldn't have done at home or at Eric's office. Complete waste of ten bucks train fare. I got back into the city after 6 and hung out at Husani's. We went out and had Wendy's. We sat and talked about boys and the slutting around we'd done in highschool and how different we are now. Walked back to the office, hung around for a couple minutes and headed home. Tripping over a mini blah-ish mood after my materialization.
