I got it. I got the package Ricky sent. My fingers have a light sandalwood type smell. Its foreign ... yet ... familar. I feel my brain .... reeling through memory files to find out why this smell is so familar. Its Ricky. I've never been around him ... yet my brain's saying that I have. Or ... maybe that I should be around him.

Ricky's friend, Juliet called me yesterday afternoon announcing that she was in New York. I actually felt myself straightening up in my chair. Wiping my face and brushing my hair with my fingers so she wouldn't see what a slob I was. It was around 3:30 and I was still in my jammies (black and white check sleep bottoms and a white tee) and a full-zip gray sweat top.

She said she had the package Ricky got to her and that she knows I'd wanna pick it up as soon as I can. I did. I really wanted to just hop on the train to the city ... still in my jammies and rush to her hotel room.

"Well ... I'll be in the city tomorrow so I could always pick it up then."

"What time are you coming in?"

"Hmm .. probably around 11? Is that ok?"

She made a comment about being awake and I joked that I wasn't a morning person either. Her voice was pretty inviting. That ruled out the image of ice-queen I somehow had in my mind. Which is silly since I've read emails and Ricky talks about her a lot. I wouldn't expect him to say "You'll like her and I'm sure she'll like you too" ... if it weren't true.

I got up around 8 and bolted out of bed. I actually tired on clothes last night to find the perfect outfit. Why? Because I'm silly and I can be very insecure. I didn't wanna show up at Juliet's hotel room looking like a schmuck. I got ready, had breakfast and checked my email. I was expecting a pretty important email and was so relieved when I got it this morning. I called Juliet before I left and was actually in the city in no time.

I didn't feel like wearing my glasses today so I forced the last pair of contacts I have into my eyes. I've worn 'em before but I was desperate. My eyes watered like crazy on the train and people kept staring at me while I sniffled.

She's nice. I don't know her all that well of course but she seems pretty nice. She's pretty and her boyfriend is pretty goodlooking. I think she's like 17 or something and of course I felt younger for some reason. My jeans wrinkled more, my boots grew bigger and my messenger bag started touching the floor as I shrunk right there. I met her mom. She seems really nice too and for some reason ... I see myself being more relaxed around her. Gosh ... if I'm this bad now ... what'll happen when Ricky gets here?

I couldn't believe I was holding that package in my hands. I wanted to drop to the ground with my legs folded and tear it open. But I waited. I waved goodbye to them while going over plans for tomorrow with the 'RENT' thing.

"Wow ... I can't believe I have it." I thought with a gring on my face in the elevator. "*sigh* ... I can't wait to open it!"

"Hmmm .. there's a Starbucks near here. I could easily go there and open it" I reasoned.

And I did. Not totally. I reached in for the note he included. I think people must've thought I was crazy because I had this incredible smile on my face and for those few seconds of scanning some of the words .... everything froze around me. I was just me .... and the note. The note and my smile. My smile and this feeling of 'I really really cared about the person who wrote this. And he feels the same way.'

"...all Capuchino. Tall Cappuchino!" .... the voice filtered in.

"Thanks" I replied and smiled.

I packed everything back into the bubble-insulated envelope and stuck it in my bag. Smile still on my face. I couldn't wait to get to Husani's office so I could properly go through everything. I must've been driving Husani crazy. I was just so excited though. More than just excited. I dunno what but ... more. *laughs* The crazy thing is I was on a hunt for this phantom store with cheap vintage stuff.... Husani and I walked pass NYU and we both looked at each other and smiled. I got this jacket they had for like 20 bucks. There was this pretty nice store with used stuff but they were like regular price.

I mean ... what's the point of buying something used when you can buy the same thing ... brand new for the same price. At that rate ... I could buy it, wash it 10 times and use extra bleach. Husani and I hung out for a while and I headed home.