I just got up. I woke up a while ago but just stayed in bed with the covers over my head. Then the phone rang. It was Norm. I'm supposed to go into the city today to have dinner with her and her family but I feel like hell right now. I have a slight headache and I just don't feel like being disturbed right now anyway. I hung up and went back to bed, pulling the covers right over my head. I lied there for a while. Curled up in a ball watching the light filter through the 'cave' I made around me with my comforter. Thinking and mouthing Radiohead songs.

I hate people waking me up when I don't have to be awake. Unless I'm really tired .... I can't go back to sleep. I just lie there like I did a while ago and think about things. All sorts of things.

I didn't want to be awake right now. Actually ... I didn't want to be awake at all. Last night I sorta hoped I wouldn't even wake up today. At all. I've always wanted to die in my sleep actually. That way you don't even know y'know. It just .... happens. Maybe your eyes open and you let out a faint gasp .... and then ... you're ... gone. That's sorta how I imagine it anyway.

I'm tired actually. I didn't really do anything yesterday. I went to church in the morning. I got up atfer hitting snooze about 5 times. I had to rush around and then sprint to the train station without even eating breakfast. About a block away ... I saw the train leave. I swear ... seeing that just made me wanna cry. I mean it. Just fall to my knees and cry. I headed to the station anyway and it turned out that it was an express train. Express trains don't stop in Hartsdale.

The service was pretty good. I rushed to leave right after but was stopped by a few people to shake hands and stuff.

Last night was just a blah night and I wish I didn't even get online. I need to spend less time online. I'm trying. Sorta ween myself off of the net. Its funny ... because .. when I'm watching tv or playing my Gameboy ... I don't think of the Internet at all. Yet ... the minute I connect .... I stay on for hours.

Oh ... great ... Richie just walked in. Yeah ... sure .. he thought I wouldn't be here. Well surprise. Here I am in my jammies. *sigh* .... I can't deal with this much longer. Honestly. Its really depressing not having an apartment yet.

Ricky's package. The diary I sent to him that he was supposed to write something in and send back. Richie just gave it to me.