My alarm goes off. I press snooze ... once ... twice ... five ... six times. I get up. Fold My covers. Put the bed away and the cushions back on the couch. I put my glasses on if I'm not wearing contacts. I put the coffee table back in place. I put my stuff in the closet turn the hot water in the shower on. I go back to the closet and pick out what I'm gonna wear. I walk back into the bathroom and undress. The mirror that covers the wall above the sink and the full-length one on my left while I stand there make it hard not to even look. By now the bathroom's steamy and if i'm wearing glasses they fog up. I take them off and rest them next to the sink.

I reach into the drawer and take my tooth brush and toothpaste out. Colgate. I don't even really like Colgate. I take my towel out of the dryer (I throw it in after I shower). I throw it over the top of the shower doors and step in with my toothbrush. The water's too hot. I add more cold water. I put my toothbrush on the little marble shelf which holds my shampoo, conditioner (both Clairol Daily Defense), tangerine shower gel and apricot facial scrub.

I turn my back to the water and just stand there under it. Thoughts swirling around in my head. They refuse to be silenced by the sound of the running water. Sometimes I stand there and then just start talking. To myself ... to God. To God mostly. Just talking. Telling Him how I feel. Trying not to complain too much. Praying outloud while standing in the shower, eyes wide open with water running over my back. Clouds of steam going up and over the shower doors. Asking Him to keep protecting my family, friends and people less fortunate than myself.

I brush my teeth and rub my Tazmanian devil shower puff over my body at the same time. The smell of toothpaste and tangerine. I shampoo. I rinse. I think about being attacked in the shower. I condition. I rinse. I stand there with my back against the water some more. I sigh and rub my neck. The bathroom is almost completely covered in steam.

I turn the water off, reach my hands above up and hold onto the top of the shower doors. I press my forehead against the frosted glass of the door and just breathe. Just breathe. The doors slide open and I dry my feet and legs before stepping out onto the marble-like tiles. I grab my toothbrush and throw it back in the drawer. The hot water made my skin dry. I rub lotion where I can reach on my back. Jergen's. I like Jergen's. I rub some on my neck. My hips for some reason. Elbows. Feet. Stomach. Knees.

My towel gets tossed into the dryer. I put my glasses on and get dressed. Old Navy boxers. Hmmm .. Old Navy tee. Old Navy jeans. Or cargos. Or nylon pants. I need to shop at different stores. Old Navy white socks. Ok ... that's the last straw. I step into my sneakers and walk into the kitchen. I moisturized my skin but my insides are still dried from the shower. I pour a nice glass of apple juice. Or grape. Or ginger ale. Or Sprite. If there's only a mouthful in the bottle .... who needs a glass.

Sometimes I leave my laptop on at night playing my 'Sleep [Extented]' playlist. KD Lang's 'Constant Craving'. Sarah Mclachlan's 'Sweet Surrender'. Aimee Mann's 'Save Me'. Radiohead's 'Motion Picture Soundtrack'. More Radiohead. Stuff like that make up the playlist. I turn the volume back up and sing along while I fix breakfast.