Cwappy mood. I was all high this morning and now ... blah. Like giggling giddy schoolgirl high. I remember washing my face before I left for the city ... looking in the mirror and whispering, "Ok, I'm too happy right now. And with no valid reason so I'll crash hard." And sure enough ... the cosmos heard me and fixed it. It wasn't all bad. I got into the city and then realized that ... hmmm ... I didn't have much money. But that was ok, I had enough to get in and out. I stopped by Keri's office to pick up a piece of equipment I had to do a sketch of. That was fine too. I got in and got out.

Then I remembered the colored pencils I wanted to get, so I went over to Union Square. And ... since I was in the area, I dropped by Husani's. He wasn't there. I saw D.W though and chatted with him for a while. Oh ... I'm thinking of getting a pet mouse. Seriously. So ... I got to Utrecht, and right away ... I knew I didn't have enough money on me to get the pencils I needed. That's about the time Ranger slid next to me. Just ... next to me. I didn't feel totally sad. I really wanted the pencils but I couldn't get 'em. I left Utrecht and called Aaron as I walked back to the subway. He was still at work and couldn't really talk anyway. No big deal. But then ... I started feeling bad because ... I wanted to see him but if I stayed in the city until he got off work .... I'd have to buy something to eat. And that brings me back to the part about just having enough to get back home.

Of course ... I could've ... gotten something to eat, go over to Aaron's after and borrow like 10 bucks from him. I could've. But I hate ... hate ... hate borrowing money from people. Worst of all ... someone I'm interested in. It just makes me feel even more helpless and then I feel shitty about myself. I don't like doing it. So ... I don't. And ... I . I came home. I didn't stick around. I didn't call him back. I just came home. And that's about the time Ranger had set in and I felt totally shitty. Add to that ... the fact that when I decided to call Rudy, my Palm pilot was showing the 'welcome' screen. The frickin screen you see when you use it for the very first time.

"No! ... No! What are you doing?!" I was talking to it like a crazy person. And after introducing me to my Palm .... again ... I check, and all my numbers, appoinments, notes ... everything ... was ... gone! Gone! The only numbers on there were the ones for technical support.

So ... I got home with a little less than ten dollars and of course ... no ATM card, since I don't even have a savings account, checked the mailbox, brought up the mail ... came to my room and just lie on the bed, staring up at the ceiling for a while. Got online, checked my guestbook ... (the one most people are allergic to) and realized my images were broken.

Great.

Yet another server got tired of hosting my images for free. It's the traffic I think. The site's been seeing more traffic lately. And then people reading like 27 pages at once. I still have no idea why. Husani said it best, "Your life isn't that exciting." So true. I'm gonna sign up for Gold D*land membership when I have some extra money and time to mail out a check to good ol' Andrew.