I sort of have this yearning or whatever to smell Gary right now. Nothing else really. I've been taking in hints of him all day. On the train, someone's manly scent mixed with cologne. I thought of Gary with his sleeves rolled up. His strong arms. And then tonight while I was lying on my bed reading 'The Lovely Bones'. Twisting on top of my comforter, feet on the wall and then slipping under the covers. I caught his scent. Probably from the pillows or the sheets themselves. I thought of his chest and his arms pulling me into him after staring into my eyes and commenting on the way they sometimes look green even though they're dark brown. The warmth of his chest. His scent.

I thought of the way he would put his arm across my waist in the middle of the night and how much I always seem to be slightly awake when he does that. I wonder a lot sometimes if he randomly thinks about me or if he's being extra careful. Like I guess I should be. Today while walking through Grand Central after getting off the train from Greenwich, I accidently thought the word 'love' and stood for a second to correct myself. And then corrected myself for correcting myself. "Duh! Of course I love him. I love everyone who's close to me. I just can't say I've fallen for him."