Today wasn't a bad day. At first I got up and the words "... to think I loved the guy" rang in my head for some reason. Honestly ... those were the first words I whispered when I got up. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Focussing on it for too long makes me sad and I feel my eyes threaten to water. Richie was supposed to drop by so I showered quickly and got dressed. Breakfast ... Cocoa Puffs. Checked email while I ate.

My whole body felt drained and I just wanted to go back to bed. I would've if it wasn't for the possibility of Richie dropping by. If I knew he wasn't gonna show ... I really would've. He never did and that sorta pissed me off. He didn't even call or anything. I don't like it when people do things like that. I mean ... if you're not gonna do something ... say it. Call. But don't keep people waiting. Plus ... I'm supposed to design this brochure for him and every time I talk to him he says he'll get the information to me. I know its gonna come down to the wire just like that thing with Bryan.

I did nothing really but surf around online and watch tv. I was gonna work on that logo I have to finish but I know tomorrow's probably a 'Kinko's day' so I saved it for then. I work better on that sorta stuff there anyway. Less distractions. I just put my headphones on and go deep into the zone. Once i'm there ... I can work for hours without getting up.

Around 2 I went downstairs to the deli to get some apple juice and ginger ale. That's when I realized how great it was outside. I only had a tee, cargos and sandals on. But I wear stuff like that even if its cold considering the deli is 2 doors away from the entrance to my building. It was actually .... warm. Just ... perfect weather.

I came back upstairs and opened all the windows. I mean ... I'd do that when its cold too but at least I didnt need to wear my sweat top. I like having the windows open and hearing the sounds out the street below. In a way it reassures me that there are people around. If I relied on sounds coming from inside the building itself I'd really go nuts.

I wanted to go blading. Really bad. That's when I instantly thought of Brooklyn and how much I miss living there at a time like this. If I were still in Brooklyn I would've spent the entire day at Marine park. Oh .. or maybe Prospect Park. They have places to blade at Prospect Park but they're just like paths y'know and then the main road that runs through the whole park. Marine's smaller and just has this path that circles the park. I'm still a rookie so I need gravel and other road noise to keep me from moving too fast. I couldn't dream of going on the main road at Prospect Park. I'd get run over in under a minute. And not by a car ... by some little 7 year old blader. Kids are cruel.

Around 6:30 ... it just got dark. Like suddenly. I looked out the window and saw the dark clouds. I need to watch the morning news and weather. Now it appears that more people work here in White Plains than people actually living here. Every afternoon I watch as streams of vehicles leave. In bad weather ... it reminds me of the fleeing scene in Independence Day.

The clouds got darker and then faint thunder. Y'know the scariest part of a storm is to me? When its coming and you see dozens of birds flying away. Just dozens of them flying. Flying where exactly? I dunno but I sometimes wish I could go along. I saw the rain in the distance, like a dusty window screen. It was cool. You could see it coming towards you. Getting closer with black birds rushing by my window.

Then this pretty cool thing happened. I saw one rain drop on my window. Broken and frozen in place from the impact. I ran my finger tips over the glass where the water was on the other side. Real time: 2.837 seconds. My time: 6 minutes, 23.028 seconds ..... before thousands of other rain drops hit the window. Solid force. The windows were still open and water starting pouring in. It was weird. The windowsill was drenched and I wasn't far from that myself.

Everything that was scheduled to play a part in the storm showed up right behind the rain. Thunder. Lightning. Wind and more rain. Storms don't scare me. I'm rather fascinated by them really. They're damn near erotic actually.

I chatted on and off with Ricky and Shawn a lot today. Also got some more Radiohead tracks off Napster. I can't wait 'til the CD's out. Yeah ... I'm one of the people who buy the album even if I got all the songs off Napster. There's still nothing like rushing to the store and buying the CD. Staring at it for 1.098 seconds before ripping off that annoying plastic wrap. Why is it that its always hard to get off anyway? Not to mention that little 'pull here' plastic tab on the case itself. Or maybe its only annoying to me since I barely have any nails.

I wanna go to bed early tonight. Early meaning before when I usually go to bed .... which is a little after 2am. I would say that Ricky is the reason I stay up but he's not. I always stay up around that time. If I'm not online ... I'm watching tv. If I'm not watching tv ... I'm playing my Gameboy. I don't care what anyone says ... Pokémon can be addictive.

I miss having a Playstation. I promised I'd get one soon after I get my own apartment. Even if I have to sacrifice furnitue to get one. Sitting on milk crates can't be that bad right? *sigh* ... Right now that's something else I'm trying not to think about too much. Its making me depressed. The apartment thing.

I'm gonna go.