This laptop makes me not want to write at all. Everything with it's just a chore.

Last night I actually went out. Mark had an extra ticket to see Stanton Moore perform at B.B. King's. I had no idea who Stanton Moore even was but I got dressed. At first I looked at the laptop for minute and thought abut just staying home, watching TV and chatting online. Then I thought, 'fuck that', slipped my feet into my sneakers and headed out. Mark and I had actually done this bonding thing earlier in the day. We walked up to Bergenline Avenue to get this cable adapter we needed, picked up some food and walked back home. I think that's the most time we'd actually spent around each other. It was nice.

When we got to B.B. King's, I realized why I don't go out often. I don't particularly like it some times. I always feel incredibly self-consious. It's bad enough when I'm with someone I know really well but much, much worse when I'm not. Mark's my roommate but I really can't say I know him all that well. I walked behind him, shuffling through knots of people. 'What am I doing? I feel like going home' in my head like a broken record. Even when I'm like that, I look around and just wish I'd force myself to do it more often. Just get the hell out of the apartment.

Mark had seats in the V.I.P. area. It felt good to stand next to him when he almost had to yell at the waitress. He introduced me around to some of the people he works with. Never introduce me to more than two people. Anything after the second name, I'm lost and forget what the first name was. I shared a booth with these seemingly cool people. This girl with short, dark hair and a voice like Karen from 'Will & Grace'. A blond guy I figured to be her boyfriend and this other guy who I later learned was a vegan. The Karen-double, with her nasal would've driven me off the deep end if she didn't stop talking to eat. I had a grilled chicken ceaser salad. I swear, I need to stop eating so soon before I go out. People must really think I'm anorexic since I never seem hungry. I'll have to get a Polaroid camera and take a snapshot of me eating earlier in the day.

So I managed through my salad while watching the Karen-double chomp down a steak. I sat right next to the vegan guy and we talked a bit. He said he was a big chicken addict and was eating some in his apartment when his dog looked at him funny. My guess is, the dog was begging. He said that when he looked at his dog's face, he realized that the chicken he was eating once had a face. And that was that. He quit. Cold turkey ... pun intended. I thought it was pretty cool.